The Disillusionment Stage

{This was originally posted on the Weddzilla Blog this morning.}

I've been avoiding blogging lately, because I haven't really had anything to say.  And it's not because I haven't been doing anything, because I my calendar is jam-packed with wedding-related crap and my ongoing To Do list seems to grow seven new things every time I cross one off.  But when I resolved to enjoy the rest of the planning process by not focusing so much on the details, I really meant it.  Maybe I meant it too much.  With about a month now until the big day, women keep asking me how everything's going, and I don't have an answer.   After a year of planning and over two years of being engaged, the details just seem so unimportant.  I would much prefer to debate Arizona SB 1070 or discuss the upcoming NFL season than talk about seating plans and day-of schedules.  This part of the process is decidedly not fun to write about.

That doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it.  Jeff and I have never been closer, but as any romance novelist will tell you,  a healthy and loving relationship does not make good reading material. I love making decisions with Jeff, about both the wedding and our future.   I love checking out my veil in the bathroom mirror (I'll wait until my hair trial in 3 weeks to post photos).  I love browsing shoe options for my bridesmaids.  I don't particularly love writing four-figure checks, but I do enjoy the sense of responsibility and adulthood that comes with it.

It struck me that planning a wedding is really similar to being in a relationship.  We were recently introduced to the idea that relationships undergo a recurring cycle of romance, disillusionment and joy.  The beginning of wedding planning is all about romance: there are pretty dresses, and flowers, and endless possibilities. This part I'm in right now, the disillusionment stage, is about reality: no sleep, drained bank accounts, and family drama.  And while it's not all that fun to talk about, it's admittedly nice to feel like at least we're moving in the right direction. Because if my math is correct, then the next step--the wedding itself--is joy.  Which sounds about right.